Trusting Him

Thursday, October 13, 2016

So the past 6 weeks, or so, have been a complete roller coaster. I'm emotionally exhausted, and honestly, I've been feeling a little down lately. As I have shared before, we have faced some tough decisions recently in regards to our family's future, and I think we've finally figured out where we're supposed to be. 

Everything started at the beginning of September. Some jobs openings were brought to our attention in our hometown of Fayetteville that looked like a good fit for Sean. I haven't been shy in this space about our love for Fayetteville and our dream of some day raising our family there. So, when these two positions opened up we had really high hopes that our dreams were coming true. 
Sean applied for both positions and the waiting game began. We waited, waited, and waited for two weeks. In the mean time we were so sure we would be moving to Fayetteville we drove up and even looked at some potential homes and land. We didn't really feel great about anything we looked at and were a little more confused when we headed home. Little did we know we were about to be thrown a curve ball.

The following Tuesday Sean received a call from a co-worker, who works in Dallas, about a job opening that he thought Sean would be perfect for. Panic set in. Thankfully they were fine with giving us some time to consider the position. Sean started trying to get in contact with HR for the positions in Fayetteville that he had applied for to see if he could find anything out. And me, I literally sat in bed and cried. I was so confused. What was God doing and why was he making everything so confusing? 

We continued to pray for clarity and guidance.

 The morning of September 29th (Sean's birthday) I woke up and read my First5 morning devotional and felt more at peace about everything, and I knew we would be fine either way. I reminded God that we needed clarity, and I may need an open door and a kick in the butt because Dallas wasn't really where I wanted to be.

Th following evening Sean received a phone call regarding the Fayetteville positions--he was not a candidate for either position. Talk about some clarity. I was literally in shock and couldn't speak. I don't think I ate two bites of dinner that night. 

Once it was obviously clear that we would not be moving to Fayetteville, at least not right now, we moved forward with the idea of moving to Dallas. We spent about a week looking online at homes, talking to friends who live there and Sean's current co-workers, and creating a monthly budget. Although everything sounded wonderful and like it would be so easy, we slowly realized that financially it just wouldn't make sense for us. 

It's been pretty hard wrapping my brain around not moving, considering for about 6 weeks I thought we'd be moving somewhere. I was really excited and ready to start a new journey and new adventure. I've slowly come to the conclusion, that for whatever reason, God wants us to stay where we are. I'll admit that I've struggled with understanding and the why of it all, but we're going to continue to pray for guidance and purpose.
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